Experiences

Today I had an abortion at Bloemenhove. I was incredibly nervous and didn’t really know what to expect. After two easy-to-understand and reassuring consultations where I was prepared for the treatment, the moment had come. I got changed. I took two small tablets, and a small cannula was inserted in my arm (for administrating the sleep-inducing drug for the treatment). After about 15 minutes I was taken to the surgery. For me that was the scariest moment, but I was soon put at ease by the doctor and nurses. I was fitted with an oxygen mask and the sleep-inducing drug was administered through the cannula in my arm. In less than a minute I was completely under. I can barely remember closing my eyes. It was my first time to be put under sedation. I have not been conscious of any of the treatment and woke up in the recovery room. For a minute I didn’t know what had happened, and that was actually nice. After I was sufficiently rested and recovered, the nurse brought me a cup of tea. Then I was allowed to eat something, which I absolutely enjoyed! You can make a sandwich and have a cup of tea or coffee. At the food table, I had a pleasant talk with one of the other patients. You don’t have to bring your own lunch. To put it shortly, there is really nothing to worry about. In total I spent about four hours at the clinic. Writing this, it’s been about ten hours since the treatment and at this moment I have no pain. I have not experienced any discomfort. The doctors and nurses were super kind! Never before have I met such caring, lovely people. That was the best of it. Don’t hesitate, don’t be scared, because in hindsight I can say that there was nothing to worry about at all. You will not regret choosing this clinic. I hope I have been able to assure you by sharing my experience.

I was two days late when I took a pregnancy test and discovered I was pregnant. I immediately booked an appointment with my GP the next day. After visiting my GP, I called some clinics. I was surprised I could get an appointment at Clinic Bloemenhove in Heemstede just two days later. Because I was less than 16 days late, there was no 5 day mandatory consideration period.

I was really pleased I could get help so quickly, because I just wanted to have the treatment over and done with asap. I felt nervous though and started to read things on the Internet and imagined all sorts of awful scenarios. But as soon as I entered the clinic, I was calm. I felt understood by the other women at the clinic. I felt heard and taken seriously by the doctor with whom I had the preliminary consultation and ultrasound scan. It’s your choice whether you want to watch the scan or not. The embryo was too small for suction removal, so my choices were the abortion pill or waiting one week to come back for a curettage. I chose the pill.

At the clinic, I took the first pill. 48 hours later I inserted the four vaginal pills at home. After about 90 minutes, I started to have some cramps. The cramps felt as if I was having my period. Later that day I passed some clots of blood when I was on the toilet. In the evening and the day after, the cramping and bleeding decreased. Two days later, the cramping and bleeding returned, but the blood was mainly clear red. All in all, this took about a week. I tried to see it as a menstruation, and looking back, that’s kind of what it felt like.

All in all, my experience with the abortion pill turned out much better than I had expected!! I want to state this explicitly because there are so many negative stories on the Internet. Please don’t read all that and don’t make yourself crazy with worry. I did do all that Internet reading, and as a result I was scared all day on the day I used the pills, thinking hell could break loose any minute, meaning pain, being sick, etc. But that didn’t happen, so it might not happen for you either. It wasn’t half as bad as I had anticipated.

Hello, I would like to share my story. I was pregnant for 16.3 weeks when I had an abortion. I am aware that my pregnancy was already quite developed, but I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum (excessive morning sickness) and had two small children. Because of this illness I was unable to take care of my children properly, especially when on top of that my relationship broke down and I was on my own. It was horrible to have to make the decision, but I stood by my choice. On the day of the termination, I was extremely nervous. I was most worried about the anaesthetic because that makes me really sick. But the procedure is done under light sedation, where you breathe unaided. That was a huge relief! When you arrive, you need to fill out some forms, followed by a doctor’s consultation and an ultrasound scan. I returned to the waiting room until I was called into the surgery. The procedure was quick, and because of the light sedation I don’t remember any of it. It may sound strange, but when I woke up, I was just so relieved! If you feel OK, you can eat and drink something. You rest a bit longer in bed before they check you over and you are discharged. Looking back, it wasn’t as bad as I had expected, not at all. All doctors and nurses were kind, and thankfully there is no ‘gloomy atmosphere’ as the whole experience is bad enough in its own right. Back at home I had to take some rest. I had a few hours of ‘period’ cramping. The bleeding wasn’t so bad. My advice to everyone: talk about it, whatever your reason was. Don’t suppress it, and yes, of course you’re allowed to feel sad. Sadness doesn’t mean regret, something many people mix up. I hope others can take heart from my story.

When I was just 16, I started to meet boys for whom I felt more than just friendship. One of these boys was A. He was good-looking, but when I had a date with him, he turned out to be physically aggressive and ‘forcefully persuasive’. Unfortunately, my first sexual experience happened against my will. I decided to forget the whole experience as best I could. But then my period failed to come. First, I waited for a bit, because at that age menstruation can be irregular. But after a while I cautiously told a friend what had happened and she suggested to buy a pregnancy test. Well, that really scared me. Doing a test implied it could also come up positive, which meant I would have a lot of explaining to do to my parents. I did a test in secret, in the bathroom at the dancing school. It was positive and I decided not to tell my parents, because I thought they would hate me. I booked an appointment at a clinic in my hometown and stole the healthcare card from my parents. It seems so easy, the way I am writing it now, but the strain of keeping it hidden, the fear of the termination and the shame were killing me. It got so bad that at one point I was thinking maybe I should not just end the pregnancy but also my life. It was killing me inside and I am glad that one of my friends noticed I was in a bad way. We visited the school confidential advisor to discuss the situation. She was shocked and she advised me to tell my parents. I nearly made her swear not to tell my parents and I left her office feeling even worse. That evening I could barely eat and in the morning my stomach was clenched. This couldn’t continue. In the evening I told my parents in tears that I was considering suicide. Obviously, they were deeply shocked, but funnily enough they were less shocked by my pregnancy. Their biggest horror was that it had happened against my will. We discussed my options and decided to continue with the process of a termination. My parents called the school confidential advisor to thank her for her support. She was very relieved that I had told my parents. I have not reported A; I couldn’t bear facing the police and reliving everything. I do know he was already doing community service for what he had done to other girls.

At the clinic in my hometown we were referred to Clinic Bloemenhove in Heemstede. At Bloemenhove they took the time to provide care and aftercare and offered termination under sedation. Early in the morning we drove to Heemstede. I was nauseous due to my empty stomach and all the winding country roads. My father had wanted to avoid any traffic jams, but after I got so sick from the winding roads, he changed his tune. After a bit of searching, we found Clinic Bloemenhove. We entered the clinic and I checked in with reception. I saw waiting women, girls, even women who were already mothers. Some of them were accompanied by a man or their parents. Some were alone. Everyone seemed nervously flicking through magazines. The preliminary consultation made me feel more at ease. They were so kind! I had to wait a little while until someone came to take my blood sample. After that I could go upstairs. Taking a blood sample was the only physical ‘inconvenience’ I have had at this clinic. A tiny cut in my finger, after which my blood sample disappeared in a noisy machine. B positive; useful to know. When I was called in, I was a bit nervous. I was handed a bathrobe and changed into a pyjama top. No bottoms or underwear, which felt a bit strange with all these people around.

Fortunately everyone held their legs closed and so did I. I was waiting for my turn with eight other women, and I believe I was last but one. I saw a woman being called in and shortly after I saw her in bed, on her way to the recovery room. That happened again and again. I was really anxious. The nurse who collected me noticed my anxiousness and she managed to reassure me completely. I wasn’t even afraid of needles anymore. Gently she inserted the needle in my left arm. Slowly a drop of fluid came down, but I didn’t feel a thing. Suddenly I said to the nurse that the ceiling was spinning. Again she reassured me that it was normal to see things shift and that I would fall asleep shortly. I began to imagine multi-coloured kites, something my parents used to tell me about when I was afraid or couldn’t sleep. For a moment I felt myself drift off and when I reopened my eyes I was lying in bed in the recovery room. When I was fully awake, I was finally allowed to eat, and it was actually kind of nice to sit with so many women at the table! After another nasty painkiller and some antibiotics, I was allowed to go home. Afterwards I have talked a lot about the abortion.

My experience with the clinic was that it felt friendly and safe due to the personal care and approach. Nothing feels impersonal or standardised, something I did feel with the party that referred me. My pregnancy was the result of a bad experience, and for me the clinic was the perfect solution to get through it as unscathed as possible. As mentioned before, I only felt the blood test, needed to determine my blood type. And that wasn’t even painful. Lots of girls talk about painful injections in the cervix, horrible vaginal speculums and the pain of the abortion itself. Well, I can’t relate to any of that. Much later, however, I started to feel more and more distressed by the rape that had caused my pregnancy. At home we talked openly about the abortion, but never about the immediate cause. Now that I am 20, I have regular counselling because, quite understandably, I started to be troubled by feelings of fear. But during the counselling sessions, I don’t feel the need to discuss the abortion, because my experience at the clinic was so positive. That’s why I recommend Clinic Bloemenhove to girls I meet or friends with unwanted pregnancies. In return, they tell me their positive experiences; how the clinic staff is very professional but most of all people-oriented and compassionate. Keep up the good work!

I am writing this, because I feel that every girl/woman/mother has the right to choose her own life. When I discovered I was pregnant, I knew I didn’t want it. I have two wonderful children, a beautiful family, that I enjoy thoroughly. Many people may think a third child is easy to fit in. But 18 months ago, after the birth of our second child, we decided we didn’t want any more children. Our family is complete, and we are happy as things are. There are several reasons why a third child is not an option.

But an abortion? My goodness, I never thought I would have to make that choice. Despite using contraception, I got pregnant. How could this have happened and what were we going to do now? What would people think of us? I was already very hormonal, but I had made up my mind. For me, a third child was impossible, but above all: I didn’t want it, I really didn’t. But who would understand? I soon came to the website of Abortion Clinics Haarlem & Amsterdam, where I read great reviews. I made an appointment. I didn’t have to wait long. After a consultation with a doctor, I felt heard, and I wasn’t crazy. I felt understood and that was a good feeling. The ultrasound scan showed that I was pregnant four weeks longer than I had thought. Yes, that was a bit of shock, ten weeks. All kinds of things went through my head. I asked the strangest questions, but no question was treated as strange. Everything was explained calmly, and I felt understood. The five day consideration period was good for me. It made me more certain of my choice and my husband supported me. I was nervous on the day of the termination. Mostly because I had opted for anaesthetic and I had never been sedated before. It was a long wait. It may sound strange, but I felt somewhat relieved that it was busy, almost like production line work. Once in the surgery, the nurse was very kind and she explained calmly what to expect. I got sleepy and asked if I could close my eyes. “Yes, close your eyes and think of something nice, you will dream of that”, the nurse said sympathetically. Twenty minutes later I woke up, immediately noticed by a kind nurse. She told me the procedure had been successful. I was relieved. Yes, I was truly relieved, and I actually felt OK physically. I had something to eat and drink. I was checked to see if everything was OK. Then I was discharged. Together with my husband I went home. And now I am doing fine. My body is back to being my body; my feelings are changing back to being me. This takes a little while because the pregnancy hormones have not left my body completely. I stand by my choice, but sometimes I am a bit anxious of what family or friends may think of me. But girls/women/mothers who read this: you’re not crazy if you decide to have an abortion. And Bloemenhove is an expert and humane clinic. I don’t know how often I have already expressed my thanks, but once again: thank you for all you’ve done for me.

Recently I had an abortion at your clinic. Despite the upsetting decision I had to take and all the tension that went with it, you made me feel understood and reassured. Such lovely staff, very empathetic and understanding. I don’t think any other clinic or hospital could have done this better than you. Thank you so much! I have a lot of respect for everyone who works there. In addition to this I want to emphasise to all girls and women that you are in safe hands at this clinic. Personally, I was extremely worried about the procedure and pain. But looking back there was nothing to worry about. I was mainly worried about the anaesthetic because I had never been sedated before. But believe me, it’s not a big deal and it makes you sleep wonderfully. Try not to make yourself crazy with worry; you’ll see it won’t be as scary as you might think.

It’s been almost a year since I rushed to the clinic from abroad. My mother and I often think back to the consultation I had with the nurse, prior to the termination. She assured me there was no reason to feel guilty and that I had the power to make the right decision for my well-being. Without that consultation I may not have gone back. I am writing this message from Asia! It was the best choice for me. You have helped me in a time when I felt abandoned by my GP and health insurance. I want to thank everybody for the professional care you have given me, the encouraging words and comforting arm around my shoulders. I am currently taking part in a post-abortion coping programme through FIOM. I hope you continue with the treatment of women of all ages the way you have treated me: with respect, appreciation and without judgement. Again, thank you very much.

Dear staff at the clinic, Yesterday I had an early abortion at your clinic. For me it was an emotionally taxing decision, but thanks to the professional, friendly and kind support and care of all staff (from reception to nurses and doctors), I have managed to get through it, and I stand by my decision. No question was ‘stupid’ or ‘dumb’. Despite the busyness, they made time for me and offered me a comforting arm. My compliments for providing such good care, especially regarding the social-psychological aspects. Unfortunately, yesterday was an extremely busy day at the clinic. The waiting was exhausting and tougher emotionally than the procedure itself. This was acknowledged by staff. It was unfortunate for me that I was last but one; I arrived at 11 AM and the procedure didn’t take place until 5 PM. This isn’t meant as a reproach, because you explained that most days not all appointments actually show up and that things pass like clockwork. And I must say that I was glad that I didn’t have to wait for days to get an appointment. To help future patients in case of long delays, I suggest they are allowed to wait outside the clinic and come back later. Waiting in a tearoom or taking a walk is more pleasant than having to stay in the waiting area. Not because of the leaflets, not because of the clinic, but because of the worrying and the fear of what is to come. In spite of this, I want to thank everybody once more for all you’ve done for me. I deliberately chose your clinic, even though it was quite a journey and I probably drove passed a number of other clinics. Of course, I hope I never have to visit the clinic again after my follow-up, but I highly recommend your clinic.

The morning after, I took the morning-after pill, but I must have had sex when I was most fertile, because the pill didn’t work. Six weeks later I was overcome by sudden extreme nausea and it didn’t stop. Looking back, at that moment I knew I was pregnant. The positive test only confirmed what I already suspected. I felt panic, but also quiet resolve. I immediately knew I couldn’t keep it. I couldn’t financially support a child, it wasn’t planned, I was still a student, and it was drunken sex with someone from another country. Not exactly the basis for becoming a parent. Besides, I’ve always wanted to have children, but together with “the one”, not as a result of a one-night stand.

I was 8 weeks pregnant when I had suction curettage at Abortion Clinic Bloemenhove in Heemstede. Everybody there was nice and kind, really lovely.

I have never had regrets. It was just not possible, not at that moment in my life. The doctor said: “It’s your life, you are allowed to put yourself first …” and I am still grateful for her words. In the Netherlands we have the right to choose, and we should cherish that. Social media quotes about Alabama seem over-simplified and conservative. People describe incest and rape as valid reasons for an abortion. But in my opinion, there are hundreds of valid, good and important reasons to choose abortion. Perhaps you just you don’t want a child. Or you can’t afford it, your partner doesn’t want it, you have doubts about your relationship or about yourself. You are not ready to be a parent, or on the contrary, your family is complete. You are too young, or too old. It doesn’t fit your career choices. The condom tore, your ovulation calendar was off, your house is too small. Your family rejects your pregnancy. You had an affair. The list is endless. If you are pro-abortion, you are also pro-choice, whatever the reason behind your choice.

At seventeen I became pregnant by accident, with my “great love”. Was this supposed to be our love baby? That question came into my mind first. But I was also still in school, didn’t have a suitable house, was taking two courses and just wanted to enjoy being young. There was opportunity to have the baby; we could have made it work. But together and with pain in our hearts we decided to terminate the pregnancy.

The GP who referred me to the clinic did not for one moment judge me or make me feel as if I had no choice. Also at the clinic I didn’t have to justify why having a baby was not an option for me. When you are pregnant at seventeen, people are understanding of your choice for abortion.